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| Lee Kuan Yew - the reason why 
He is...
the reason why I have a roof over my head,
the reason why I have exams to be stressed about,
the reason why I have an education,
the reason why I can sleep in peace at night,
the reason why I am able to chase after my dreams and aspirations
the reason why I even exist.
Today, I woke up to the most devastating news ever. Even though I've never met Mr Lee personally, everything around me - the HDB flats, our soldiers, the Singapore River, everything echoes his name and his contributions to the country. Without this man, we would be living like a third-world country full of political and social unrest, our schools will not be filled with the facilities they have today, and our lives will be full of fear of what tomorrow may bring.
Mr Lee was one of a kind. Yes, he may have been a little ruthless during his rise to power. But if he did not take the measures he did back then, imagine how much different life would be now. Will we still be a democratic society? Will we still be almost corruption-free? Nobody's perfect, not even him. But despite all his imperfections, he did whatever he could for the greater good of the people, people whom he did not know, people like me who had yet to exist. He sacrificed his life for the generations of people to come who may not be appreciative of his actions, criticise him and wish ill on him, but he did it anyways, he did it for his love for Singapore.
Now, to all those people who have been posting negative things about Mr Lee, especially today, think about how you will feel if your friends, or even strangers, posted negative and hateful things when you are mourning over the passing of your close relatives. Is PM Lee and his family not people to you? Do they not have feelings like the rest of us? And what gives you the right to say such things if you're just there being a 'hero' behind the screen? If you think you can lead a country better than Mr Lee, be my guest. If you're so unhappy about how high taxes are here, or how the government is always 'hiding things from you', you're more than welcome to live somewhere else, because it's such a waste for this country to be wasting it's resources on people like you. Is it that difficult to respect this man, as a person, as a fellow human being, and let his family, friends, and people who respect him mourn in peace?
All that aside, I'm truly blessed to be able to call Singapore my home, and will be eternally grateful for everything Mr Lee has done for our country. However, I am also very saddened that a lot of us take the stability and peace that we have for granted and only start to appreciate things when someone important is severely ill or passes away. We should always be thankful every single day of all the people and things we have in our lives.
Mr Lee, thank you for everything. You time with us may have ended, but your legacy will be passed down through generations, and the people you sacrificed your life to build this country for will always be able to remember you as the man you are. As you return back to your wife, your one true love whom you've dearly missed, I hope that you'll enjoy your time wherever you are as you no longer have to suffer in pain and heartache. May you rest in peace.
x.
Food for thought. 
#yolo
We've all probably ran away from something that we feel is challenging and cannot be handled at least once in our lives, and if you haven't, we'll you're a pretty amazing person.
Many a times when I encounter responsibilities, challenges, or things that defy what I define as the 'status quo', I would always have a feeling that it will most probably be a pretty good and safe idea to run away from all these 'extra burdens'. I would be too afraid to challenge my limits and push myself to do greater things, thinking that I am incapable of improving myself any further from where I already was. I would always doubt myself, and because of my inability to have faith in myself, I lose a lot of opportunities that come my way.
Sometimes I feel that when we're bad at something, it's not because we're just not talented in that area, but because we have so little faith in ourselves that we don't even bother to try to push ourselves to reach greater heights, to do greater things. We ourselves may be the greatest cause of our own failure, and the saddest part is - we will never realise it until it's too late.
Honestly, I really admire the people who always have that inner strength to push themselves even through the toughest times in their lives, to run even when they're injured and in pain because their team is counting on them, or to support their members to continue to be strong even when they are exhausted both physically and mentally. I feel like I have a lot of things to learn from these people, to learn how they push themselves, and to hopefully be like, or even just a small fraction of them, one day.
Nobody's perfect, but the greatest ones are those who are passionate about not giving up.
x.
When life gives you lemons... Now, I'm sure all of us are familiar with the phrase:
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
I guess this phrase may mean different things to different groups of people. To some, this phrase means that we should seize every opportunity life gives us, that we should always stay optimistic in the face of adversities, that we should never give up. Why? Because no one likes lemons. Well, at least not the raw, sour ones. However, even when we are given something sour, we can turn it to something sweet, something enjoyable on a hot day, we can make lemonade!
However, this quote recently got me thinking, and I guess to some extent over-analysing everything about this simple, uncomplicated phrase. I thought: What if life gives you rotten lemons, or lemons that are not ripe? What do you do about these lemons then? Do you still make lemonade? Life's not as simple as this quote assumes it to be. Not all problems are problems of today, some problems are like weights from the past that we can't get off our shoulders, others are problems of the future that may/may not deserve our energy to be concern over. Well, the super nothing-better-to-do me has decided to break down these 3 conditions:
1. When life gives you rotten lemons
These rotten lemons signify problems from the past, they are like the test we failed last month, or the bad haircut we had when we were like 10 but is still haunting us during family gatherings where everyone looks back at the pictures from the past... No matter how hard it is to let go and forget about these problems, sometimes we have to do it and move on with our lives, because all of us deserve to be happy. Life is just too short for us to pounder over the past. Life, life is just like our hair. If we just keep on allowing it to grow and grow, the split ends will become longer and longer and our hair just won't be as nice and beautiful as it would have been if we were to just go to the hairdresser and cut off those split ends that have been dangling there for ages. So, when life gives you rotten lemons, you get rid of them, you throw them away. There's no point of keeping them anyways, all they're gonna do is just sit there and rot even more.
2. When life gives you lemons that have yet to ripe
These lemons are like problems that have not even become problems yet. They are like events that have yet to occur but we are already spending our energy thinking and worrying about. They are like that interview next week that we already think will fail, or that dress we haven tried on but already think won't fit. How would we know what we are already worrying about today, will even happen? Now, I admit that I am guilty of this. I always assume that things won't turn out well, that people will not like me, that I'll never succeed. It's not wrong for us to be pessimistic about things, sometimes it's beneficial as we won't be as disappointed when things don't turn out well as compared to those who stayed optimistic from the start. But, I guess, we sort of have to try and be patient (?) and wait for things to actually happen for us to worry about them. What's the point of pondering over something that has not even happened, anyways? When life gives you lemons that have yet to ripe, just leave them aside and who knows? They may have already gone rotten by the time you have a look at them again.
3. When life gives you perfect lemons
SQUEEZE!!! Not into other people's eyes and make the miserable, that's just rude. Squeeze them and make some lemonade, make the best out of every situation and spread positivity to the people around you! Everyone deserves to be happy, including yourself. The world would be a much better place if everyone were to be a little happier and there was a free-flow of lemonade and ice-cream that won't make us fat :)
x.
15/10/2014 So many things happened today... I wouldn't go into details, neither will I be capable of judging if they're good things or bad things, but these events that took place today really left me with a lot of thoughts and emotions. Though I suck at penning down my thoughts, I really needed to just express what's in my mind, after today's roller coaster ride. 1. Why do people always think that pushing people away is always the best way to ensure that there'll be no emotional attachment at the end, when they'll have to go separate ways? It's ok to feel. It's ok to cry. It's ok to just be sad even though you're a guy. Sometimes, people think that they have to always be strong, and they try to avoid feeling all other emotions the human is capable of feeling. Some people feel that by pushing others away, by making themselves feel indifferent, insensitive, people will naturally try to avoid or make any emotional relationships with them. They try to prevent the heartbreak before the heart is even capable of breaking. Have they ever thought that by trying to push others away, they're actually pulling us closer to them, making it even harder for them to separate from this emotional bond in the end? After all that you've done, you've actually made others feel the need to try and do whatever it takes to make you mad and angry, and somehow, they actually touch your heart. I'll never be able to fully comprehend what happened today. It was just so surreal to me. Honestly speaking, it was (and still is) one of my biggest fears. Falling too deep in, so deep that you can't get out. 2. Not all hardwork pays off. I guess... You can call this the cold hard truth. It's kind of cliche and I'm sure you have probably heard this 5000 times over various platforms (twitter... tumblr... facebook???) But it's true. And it's really a wake up call for all of us today, sometimes it's really all about luck. I must admit, I didn't give my 100% for the promos. I was always slacking off after a few hours (more like 30 minutes?) of studying and I never really payed attention during tutorials throughout the semester. But, I guess the marks I've gotten is pretty much what I've deserved for the past year of complacency and pure ignorance at times? What really hurts me everytime is seeing the faces of those who have gave it their all, pumped in more time studying than me, listening attentively to all the tutorials and lectures, and still not getting what they truly deserve. It's like I feel like don't deserve what I've gotten, neither did they. Right now, I feel like there's a million things going through my head and everything's so messed up I don't even know what to feel anymore. I really hope that tomorrow, I'll be granted some clarity of mind and hopefully be in for a less dramatic day. 16.
So, I'm left with only a few hours before I turned 17, and I can't help but think of the past year.
In my 365 days of being a sixteen year old, I had to face one of the toughest times of my lives and take my O Levels. Leading up to the examination, and I think I've said this loads of times, I'm really thankful of the people {teachers, friends, family} who have stood by me and helped me through. It was definitely a hard time - the trauma I got before and after every, the thoughts I had in my head before I fell asleep telling me every error I made in the paper, the stacks of past year papers. Honestly, this 'milestone' has made me a stronger person and helped me understand myself even more. I've also learnt to stop doubting myself, something that I {and a lot of us} have a problem with.
Apart from graduating from secondary school, I've also 'graduated' from my dance school last year. The YIG 4 syllabus were honestly really tough as a lot of new techniques were introduced in that year. The examination consisted of numerous movements, which tested our endurance and perseverance, to complete every one of them with a smile, until the very end. Not only that, I had to also try to learn all the movements within 2 weeks, right after I finished my O Levels. Yes, the whole experience was tiring, having lessons from 1-10 everyday was no joke, but I'm glad I managed to pull through it. Even though I didn't get a perfect score, I'm glad that I was part of this experience as it has built a stronger bonds between me and my fellow YIG 4 山猪s, and taught me to appreciate the dedication and hardwork my teachers put in to help us prepare for the examinations. Xueping laoshi especially is a very admirable person. Everyday, she would be the first to report to school and the last person to leave so that we can have more time to prepare. Even though sometimes she might scold us or like say she's giving up on us, I know that she's always there for us and having our backs. She might just be the most dedicated dance teacher you can ever ever ever ever find.
Last but not least, the best memory I've gotten from the past year has to be the arrival of my 6 puppies!!! They were the cutest things god has ever given to me, and I'm sure that they're all happy and good with their new owners now. Having to take care of the little ones was no simple task, involving constant milk feeding and bringing them out of the cage to 'adventure' around the house. Nevertheless, I am really glad that I got to experience such a magical feeling watching them open their eyes, walk, and just grow.
I would just like to end by thanking those who've stood by me at my worst, especially my parents who have to sometimes face my tempers after a bad day at school. Believe me, I would stop it if I could but sometimes you just get so tired and annoyed with everything that's happening around you that you just can't control yourself. To my friends:
Sherlene, Meiyuan, Jennifer, Paul [Wei Ying], Anqi, Edwina & 4D1.
Weixin, Charlotte, Huilin & YIG4.
Thank you for being a part of my life, for standing my hysterical laughters to just walking with me in public. I know sometimes I may just go all bitch mode on you guys, but I'm glad we still managed to pull it through.
Here's to {hopefully} another bumpy year. May the odds be ever in our favours!
x.
Travels, Part 1: Bangkok, Thailand
On 1 Jan 2014, I boarded a plane, my first in like 10 years, to Bangkok, Thailand aka SHOPPERS' PARADISE. Literally, everyday when I was there it was like shop shop shop, eat eat eat, massage massage massage.
My hotel, Novotel Platinum, was directly above the Platinum shopping mall which made everything so much more convenient because after every level, our bags would have been filled and we really needed to dump out loots somewhere!
The hotel service, however, was super bad, like I honestly wouldn't recommend anyone to stay there even though it was super convenient. From the moment my parents checked in, there were a lot of miscommunication issues. On the third night of our stay, we decided to visit the lounge to enjoy a drink and listen to the live band that was playing. When I ordered a plate of curly fries, which i emphasized like three times as I could sense that the waitress did not understand my order, I was still served a plate of normal french fries. Annoyed, I told the waitress that I ordered curly fries and apparently she insisted that she repeated my order, which she didn't, and refused to change my fries. I didn't pursue the matter as I did not want to ruin the night, but the fries weren't even good, like they were super overcook. Even I, a junkie at cooking, can't overcook fries. It's not neuroscience. I was super annoyed at the band as well, who only played for like 10 minutes before taking a 30-45 minutes break. By the time they were playing again, we were already done with our drinks, which weren't even good to begin with. Overall, the hotel gave my parents and I a super bad experience and we will definitely not stay there in the future. I honestly would rather stay at Glow, which is further away from the Platinum Mall but I heard that the service there is much better. Anywhere but Novotel.
If you're heading to Bangkok for shopping at super cheap prices, you have have have to stay around Pratunam! There, there's wholesale centres like the Platinum Shopping Mall and the Pratunam Market which is good enough to occupy you for 2-3 days if you're a fast shopper! There are also smaller shopping centres whose names I didn't note down, but they're also around the area and worth a visit too! During my 4D3N, I went to the Platinum Mall like every single day because it was like impossible to complete the whole mall in a day and many of the shops opened only on the third day I was there due to the New Years holiday. My best advice is to not go during any holidays as a lot of shops would be closed.
These places sell mainly clothes you find at Bugis Street but at a cheaper price, like around SGD5 lower than those sold in Singapore. My advice is to go with your family or friends as you'll have to buy 2-3 items from a stall to enjoy the wholesale prices which is around SGD2-3 lower than the retail prices. That makes it like SGD7-8 below Bugis Street prices!!! If you're going alone, you'll have to mix and match a few of the outfits or buy different colours of the same outfit. Don't bother to haggle any lower than the wholesale price though, as it usually get the shop assistants annoyed and besides, the wholesale price is already very cheap! If they were to charge you any cheaper, they wouldn't be earning much already.
The food at Bangkok is really good too! Some of the places I dined at were T&K Seafood, Another Hound, After You & Taling Pling. I also tried the Oyster Omelette at the food court on the top floor of the Platinum Mall, which was only SGD3 and super good, and the famous wanton mee stall near the pratunam market. Overall, I really enjoyed my trip and can't wait for my next visit to Bangkok! For anyone thinking of visiting Bangkok, don't forget to bring a lot of cash! It's also quite worth it to get a 3G SIM card from the airport as it'll only cost you SGD 16 a week with 100 Baht worth of free calls. Also, try to bring small change or break your cash at the airport as the taxis won't really give change. You'll also need to haggle with the taxi drivers as they prefer to charge you a flat rate than go by metre, which isn't very expensive if you compare it to taxis in Singapore but that's not the point. Till then,
x.
Tough time's over.
First thing's first, I'VE COLLECTED MY O LEVEL RESULTS!!! Really glad that I didn't disappoint my parents & the teachers who believed in me and thankful to those who has helped me in one way or another throughout my journey in ctss leading to the exams.
To those who did well, congrats! All your hardwork has paid off and this calls for a celebration! Hope you guys can go to the school and course of your dreams and and excel in whatever you plan to do in the future! For those who didn't get the results you've hoped for, not all is lost. Yes, you can cry, you're allowed to feel sad, it's all part of being human. But most importantly, don't forget to pick yourself up in the end and continue going. If you don't give up, one day you'll succeed in whatever you do, even though it might not have been what you planned to do. If you do, you'll never know how it all turns out. Life's not easy, it wasn't meant to be to start with. Prior to the release of the results, my school's vp said this:
'Our life is not defined by digits.'
and I think it's something that we all have to remember and be reminded of sometimes. Yes, we might feel that not getting a good O level grade could practically mean our future is gone, down the toilet bowl and into the drain but it's not true! The people who fail eventually are those who just throw away their lives, their ambitions because of one small mistake. We should just remember to pick ourselves up in the end and continue going, because this will eventually be one insignificant moment in our lives like 20 years down the road. Let's not all take this one chapter of our lives too seriously ya?
Moving on, it's that time yet again to pick new schools! Personally, I really hate having to do this as it means I have got to go to a totally new environment, meet new people and make new friends all over again... It's like these 4 years have passed by too quickly, and just when I feel that I'm finally comfortable with this group of people I call my friends, I have to leave my comfort zone yet again and make a whole bunch of new friends! Nevertheless, I guess we all can't get too close to the people around us as we're bound to be separated from them sooner or later. Guess that's life.
x.
What to do now... So... I've just ended my History paper today and guess what, neither of the themes I studied for came out. So now my SEQ is screwed x367218156 and yeah... There goes my humanities. Kinda weird how the came out the exact same themes as last year and all of us studied tov/lon and ww2 in asia pacific but neither themes came out. Sigh pie... But! It's finally the 'end' of O levels! Yayyyyy! There's still Chinese next Wednesday and MCQs coming up but the rest of this week I'm totally free and I can finally relax! #happygirl97 After O's, I guess I'll go get a job and stuff but I really don't know what suits me omg! My cousin's been offering me this job at his in-law's day care centre but I don't know if I should accept it a not! It'll be super awkward cause we're like close but not close like that! Sigh... So much choices to make, so little time. Life's hard. x. Graduation Looking back at these past 4 years, I've definitely experienced a lot of ups and downs. Some specific incidents have definitely changed me - they made me more wary of what I say and made it harder for me to trust people. Nevertheless, I've definitely met people that I am very grateful to be able to call a 'friend', those who stood by me when everyone else didn't and those who were there to encourage me to push on to never give up or give in. To these people {you know who you are}: thank you. In 2012, I was put in a class where there were more oestrogen than testosterone in the air, if you get what I mean. It was a class of all kinds of personalities, the hardworkers, math geniuses, grammar nazis, bookworms, you name it and we have it. Obviously, I was the retarded girl laughing crazily at one corner but oh well... Despite all our different characters, we still managed to bond as a class, helping one another and just being there for each others. We've also had the best and most encouraging class parents anyone could ever ask for. From just simple words of encouragement to constantly spoiling us with sweets, they've made these 2 years even more fun than it already was! In D1, I wasn't afraid of being that crazy, weird girl. I could be me. It's true when they say time flies when you're having fun. Now, we're left with 16 days till the first O level paper and everyone is cramming super hard to complete this final lap. The teachers have been great too, sacrificing their precious time to help us. Can't let them down, we can all do this! When there's a will, there's a way. x. Accomplishment/Disappointment So... Yesterday we got our O Level chinese results and I got a B3!!! Yay, happy that I didn't fail and had actually met Eng 老师's target set for me! Plus, I got a distinction for my oral which was really really surprising cause I got a super hard picture and my oral sucked ever since like forever. So, I'm still going to retake the paper {I know what you're thinking. Is this girl crazyyyy?!} because I know I can do better than what I did during the June paper. After Paper 1 I was super unmotivated when I wrote out of point for my email, and that really affected my mood for Paper 2. So I definitely did not give my 100%. Will work harder for Chinese and get my first ever A, hopefully. But what really saddened me yesterday was seeing the disappointed faces of my friends. All along my Chinese was super poor, and I admit that I didn't work as hard as I should have for my June paper. I felt that I didn't deserve my B3 as compared to those who worked their butts off for Chinese and really wanted to ace their paper. I wished I could have exchanged my results with theirs. Some surprisingly did poorer than what they usually got for tests and examinations, others felt that they just disappointed their teachers and family. What's done is done, let's work harder for the next paper. Let's not feel the same ever again. Jiayou everyone! Caryn. Living in a hornet's nest Omg my school is infested with hornets. Today we had this student council investiture cum leadership handover ceremony during assembly in the morning and everything was boring and stuff when a hornet suddenly came flying around the sec 4 area. All of us literally went crazy {especially me} and yeah, went around searching for cover and I thought it was a good idea to use Ziyi as a human shield. I'm such a good friend. Obviously, I screamed. Like who wouldn't when you see a freaking humungous hornet hovering like 10cm away from you. Apparently, the hornet didn't go away. Since Sherlene told me during recess that it was still there when she was having PE in the hall and the boys were seriously out of their mind when they wen't poking it. Like really, do you want to die? Anyways, today was also my Chinese Listening Comprehension, last paper for Chinese considering that I don't retake at the end of the year! Paper was quite easy, surprisingly! First time I actually think I can score full marks even though I was unsure of some of the answers. Hehe, happy! Before the paper we were all slacking outside the room, which was so freaking hot and I was trying to 'flaunt' my poor Harry Potter knowledge in front of Chia Lynn and Wingtim and Wingtim went all 'ARE YOU SERIOUS?!' when I got all the character names wrong! Sorry, not a Potter fan here! 
On a side note, at least I know what's Hogwarts.
BEE-autiful day! Today's a super weird and exciting day, and probably one of the best and funniest Mondays I've had in a long long time!
First lesson of the day was Chem, with Mr Koh. DUM DUM DUMMMM. It was quite funnier and less awkward than I thought it would be and what Mr Koh told us kinda made sense, and really motivated me to work harder for Chemistry! Apparently, I'm suppose to be doing better than I actually am which means I'm 'value-subtracted'. {whatever that is} Oh! And I tried to contain my laughter this time in class, cause we all know what it did to me the last time...
Then, it was double Chinese which was kinda boring since all we did was 2 listening comprehension practices for the paper tomorrow! Really nervous about that cause my listening comprehension somewhat managed to deprove and I'm like scorning 16/20 now which is like bad bad bad bad baddddd.
Finally time for recess! Today's recess was kinda epic, and kinda embarrassing. Actually, it was VERY embarrassing but who cares man #yolo. Apparently a bee that was of humungous size thought it was okay to join Sherlene and I for recess today. So it flew towards our table and scared the shit our of us and we screamed, obviously. For a moment, the canteen went silent and I could feel all the eyes plastered on us. But that wasn't the point, the point was: we were attacked.
So there we were, two crazy girls running to the front of the noodles store, as far away from the bee as possible, hoping that it would be gone. Then zhekuang randomly thought that it was a good idea to scare us again. He totally failed, and ended up sending Austin's 'burger' flying to the ground. Austin's reaction after his half-eaten burger was flung onto the floor was totally priceless man.
So math next, which was just papers papers papers. Seriously, when I looked at the a math paper I had no clue to do so many questions! Like they were so foreign to me, sigh. [Note to self: Revise all a math topics]. Just realised I was super behind schedule for revision for prelims already! Need to buck up and not be so slack. But look at me, still here blogging. sigh.
English was boring, as usual. My english teacher only spent like 10 minutes talking about our speech writing and the remaining time talking about oral which I clearly remember her mentioning about before. Same topic, same tips and stuff. And seriously, which English teacher ever says 'splashing' as 'sprashing'? It's so horrible I seriously cannot believe she's teaching me English man.
Help.
Dance. 
Finally started learning pointe!!!
So last Saturday was my first ever pointe class and all of us were soooooo excited to put 'em shoes on and go on pointe! When our talented teacher taught us how to 'break into' our pointe shoes for the first time, we were all super scared that we will actually break them! Then, it was time for our first barre exercise and everything was harder than I thought! We had to like point our feet super super hard and because the shoes were like brand new, it was hard to produce the arch! Sigh, thankfully I'd time to season my shoes these few days and I've felt the improvement already!
During class yesterday, I had some 1-on-1 session with my performance choreographer and was super appreciative of her advice on certain moves that I would definitely have not been able to perform correctly when learning in a bigger group. Had fun with the little kids too who were super duper cute but super duper hyperactive and couldn't sit down for like one minute. They're like 'guess my name', 'guess my height' or ' I need to go toilet'. But they were really fun to be around, and super duper cute! Especially kexuan! Will always remember her innocence and how she was super cute just standing in the middle of the studio and acting blur! BUT!
After class I had to bring the kids to their parents, so they don't get lost and stuff. And guess what! All the wushu guys thought it was okay to just lay down in the office like it's their palace and imagine the awkwardness man! Omgggggg. Thank god no eye contact was made or else it'll be like...
I MADE IT OUT ALIVE!
97. 97 more days till the start of hell. 97 more days till it's time to show what all these 2 years of hard work is for. 97 more days till the final hurdle. 97 more days till the first O level paper. How time flies huh? Can't believe a year and a half has already passed, and that I'm going to graduate in less than 6 months time. I must admit, for the past 3.5 years, I've had several unhappy moments with this schools, but never have I thought that I might actually... miss this place. The teachers, the students, the small campus. The people who never gave up in me, especially my Chinese teacher. No matter how suckey I was or how badly I failed my papers. Even when I felt like giving up, she stood by me, encouraged me and helped me pick up myself time and time again. I've never felt so grateful towards a teacher before. Maybe it's because I feel the pressure of actually doing well for Chinese this time that I actually put in the effort to find her and seek consultation, but I just admire teachers like her who go all the way to help even the worst of students do well. Today I took my Chinese Oral examination, and the picture was harddddd. And throughout the entire examination, the person I was the most afraid of disappointing was my Chinese teacher. I kept on thinking about how all the time she has spent coaching me early in the morning have gone to waste because I failed to do well for my oral, the last hope to pull me up for oral. Even though we rarely display it in front of her in class, my whole class have always been very appreciative of her, of her patience, of her understanding. I still remember the time when we were told that she was not teaching us anymore because of our bad test grades. We were all devastated, especially me with tears running down my cheeks. I bet she was super touched that we missed her so much too! Quick Rant! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion right? I can say I like kpop {which I don't haha, sorry kpoppers} and you can be some super anti kpop fan, doesn't mean you have the right to shut me up with all your mean words and vulgarities. Please enlighten me, when have I offended you? Don't just come banging at all of us for saying what's on our mind, just because you think we do not have 'faith' in a group of people or thinking negatively. We all have a right in saying what's on our mind thank you very much. Doesn't mean the only way for you to triumph is by pulling everyone down, gives you the right to change our opinion on a matter. Even though we have kept quiet about the matter and have not argued with you any further, it doesn't mean that we have conquered defeat and let you win victoriously. It's cause we're not childish and disrespectful like you and and waste our time arguing with people like you who are not worth our time. Seriously, get a life and stop giving excuses like family problems and what not to make us pity you, that's just despicable and you should be so ashamed of yourself. Book Review!  by John Green Honestly, I'm not a fan of reading at all. So the fact that John Green was able to get in touch with my feelings and emotions, and made me carry on reading this book really proves how good a book this is. The Fault in Our Stars was a book I couldn't keep my eyes off, a book that kept me engaged and made me want to flip the page and know what happens next. The book is narrated by 16 year old cancer patient Hazel Grace, who is forced by her parents to attend support group as they think she is suffering from 'depression'. She subsequently met Augustus Waters, an amputee, during one of the support group sessions and falls in love with him. She shares with him her all-time favourite book, An Imperial Affection, which she surprisingly never shared with anyone else as she felt that it was her book. As the story continues, Augustus used his wish to fly Hazel and himself to Amsterdam to meet the author of the book, to find out what happens to the other character after the cliffhanging-ending. Apparently, the author ended up to be some kind of jerk, but for his own reasons. {You've got to read the book to find out what they are for yourself!} Even though I've read the plot summary online before getting the book at The Book Depository, which I must say is an amazing website for you to get your hands on books that are harder to find locally at amazing prices, the book still didn't bore me to pieces. The vivid description and playful writing style {to me} really allowed me to try and be in the shoes of Hazel, to feel what she's feeling. It's a really good book to get, and I guarantee you won't regret reading it! Till next time! Caryn. Struggles & setbacks Hello June! How time flies, it seriously almost felt like yesterday 2013 just started. All these long hours at school and piles of homework at home really prevented us from enjoying this year. Oh well, last year at ctss so let's just cross these last few hurdles and then enjoy a well deserved 3-4 months break! So the first semester has ended and my mid year results are out! English was very disappointing, got a C5 for like the first time. But the paper was quite difficult as they were talking about medieval times and stuff like that, which I am like totally clueless about... Then Chem and Physics was maintained at around B3-B4 range, which also needs lots of improvement. I guess I have to work harder in Sem 2 cause I haven't really been paying attention in class this semester, and if I did, I would probably have done better... Another major event that has passed was my Chinese O Levels. Even though I studied super hard, the hardest I've ever studied for the subject, SEAB decided to give some shitty hard paper that even those hmt people who took the paper last November felt the paper was hard too! So thankfully, it's not just me! Haha, now we all just have to pray that the bell curve is good and I won't have to retake the November paper! Short post here, hope you guys are enjoying your holidays unlike me who still has to go back to school for one extra week of structured remedial! Sigh, at least the second week and third week will be free! 
Remember people, you still gotta do your homework. But don't forget to also spare some time to rest and relax!
Till next time! Caryn Monsters University! 
Grab your suitcases and schoolbags people, cause after a long 12 years, the sequel to a childhood favourite Mosters, Inc. is finally here! Yes, you've heard it right! Mike and Sully, practically one of the nicest monsters on earth that you'd wish come out of your closet, are finally back with even more friends of all shapes, colours and sizes! This time, we go even further back in time to Mike and Sully's college days, where all the scaring begins. Excited as much as I am? Don't forget to catch Monsters University on 20 June 2013!
I bet many of us have watched countless encore telecasts of Monsters, Inc., be it on our local broadcasting channel Channel 5 of Disney Channel. Remember how the little young and innocent Boo entered the world of Monstropolis through an activated door? How a monster as big and scary as Mike can develop some sort of relationship with a human from another world? Mosters, Inc. definitely brings back a lot of childhood memories, considering the fact that television programmes these days are nothing but teaching the children all the wrong values like starving yourself to be popular.
This is what makes me so excited for Monsters University! Where we can relieve some old childhood memories with our friends and enjoy more of Mike and Sally's misadventures! How is life going to be like at the School of scaring? What other troubles are Mike and Sally going to get themselves into? Well, you've got to watch the movie to find out!
To psych you guys up, here's the trailer to Monsters University, opening in theatres on 20 June 2013:
Catch Disney•Pixar's "Monsters University" in Singapore cinemas this 20 June 2013! For more updates, like the Official Walt Disney Studios Singapore Facebook Page, follow @disneystudiosSG and subscribe to the Official Disney Studios Singapore YouTube Channel!
Till next time! Caryn HATE UNFAITHFUL SELLERS So I've recently decided to go to online shopping as the clothes there are of a wider variety and much cheaper than when we get them at the stores! So I've recently visited this site Wholesale020 » as recommended by my mother and the clothes there are very pretty. However, I did have some poor experiences on the website and I'm goings to share them with you! Experience 1: On my first purchase with the website, I've bought around 7 items from the websites, namely 2 shoes and 5 dresses. After I've paid via PayPal, which I must say is very reliable, the seller suddenly contacted me telling me that 3 of the items were out of stock! This seriously made me very upset as if the item was out of stock already, the least the seller could do was to remove it from the website right! And it's not like it's those local blogshops, it's actually a considerably reputable online store that ships internationally. In the end, the amount that I paid for the sold out items were converted into store credits and not refunded to me! Plus, I have to personally find out which were the items that were out of stock as the seller claims that she cannot search for the item, even though I was given just the item code of the item. Like how was I suppose to know who h item this item no. represented? Very upset with my first purchase seriously, already set a bad image for the shop. Experience 2: This is really recent, like only a week or two ago... I was pleasantly satisfied with the 2 purchases I made with my store credit from the shop and decided to give the store a second chance! So I purchased a dress and 2 tops recently and was super unhappy when I received my postage today, especially for the dress! Firstly, the seller stated on the website that the dress was WINE RED & COTTON. But when I received my dress today, it is totally BRIGHT RED & SHEER CHIFFON material! This can be compared with my chiffon top which the website accurately stated. This is very misleading and unfair on the buyers' point of view as we are being told that the item is of a certain quality and colour, and left to realise that the outfit we have imagined is not what we were promised. Below shows how the dress I have received is very different from the dress promised on the website (no filters): {Do hover over the pictures for a clearer look} 
The material of the dress
The material of the dress (Red) compared with the material of my chiffon shirt (Pink)
The information of the dress and colour, together with pictures as shown on the website
This really changed my opinion on online shops and the reliability of them! Don't forget to always think twice before purchasing from online stores which seems too good to be true girls!
X.
Self Harm Have blogged about this topic a year or two back, but I guess there's some more things that I need to say now... Seeing how self harm can affect not just those people who look depressed and sad all the time, but it can also affect the happiest of people, the most hardworking ones and the ones that you never thought would have felt so down that they decided to cut themselves, I believe that we are not doing enough to stop this from continuing. Some of us might actually wonder why would people actually chose to cut themselves, or think that cutting themselves is one of the most stupid things someone may decide to do. Personally, I have also yet to understand, but I guess some of us find cutting as a way to eliminate all the pain and sadness in our lives, it's their only escape. I definitely do not believe that cutting yourself will make the pain away, but I also do not believe that by condoning or discriminating those who do, will 'cure' them or stop them from cutting. Cutting is like a drug, once you tried it and felt how it brings away all the pain and sadness, you can't stop and you will continue cutting when you feel sad. Everyone has their own choices and the right to make them in life, but instead of just pushing them away to a corner because of a certain decision they make, will make them even more guilty of their choice and out of place. We should all help those whom we know are going through this hard time get back on track in life, and lead a better and happier one. Most of us might not know that we are the reason why our friends chose to cut him/herself, be it because we verbally and/or physically bully them or because we insult them unknowingly. Society has changed, we now live in the era where people are heavily influenced by what happens online, on television and all around us. We are exposed to much more diverse groups of people, some who help us get through life, while others who just live to bring us down. I hope everyone will learn to love themselves, learn to take criticism or bullying strongly, and just enjoy life. You only get to live it once.
A must watch video. Hope that this girl has inspired you to become stronger, and take a stand against self harm.
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